


Whiskey Boys in the Toy Store

by quartzhanzo



Series: McHanzo Prompts [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Drinking, M/M, McHanzo - Freeform, Sex Shop, Shenanigans, drunk, this was a prompt that was in no way taken seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 06:23:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14302749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartzhanzo/pseuds/quartzhanzo
Summary: Hanzo and McCree get drunk and get up to no good in the sex shop.





	Whiskey Boys in the Toy Store

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt. It's not super good I just thought y'all might find it funny.

It was hardly into the afternoon on a Tuesday, but Hanzo and Jesse were several bottles of whiskey into their day. It started with an argument neither could remember now. Jesse got tired of yelling, pulled a bottle of Jack from his stash, and started to drink. Hanzo, still fired up looked at it like a competition, he took a bottle for himself and attempted to chug it. Things escalated from there.

There was some, “Go fuck yourself!”

And, “Maybe I will!”

Now an hour and a half from the first drink, they found themselves stumbling into an adult store. Jesse made a beeline to the very uncomfortable saleswoman behind the counter, “Excu-use me, ma'am. I've been told I have to go fuck meself. C-could ya point me in the right direction?” he slurred. She merely tossed a thumb towards the back of the store. Jesse could see Hanzo had already found his way there, dwarfed by the massive wall of dildos.

Hanzo turned to Jesse and presented the wall like a prize on a game show. Jess tipped his hat back, put his hands on his hips and whistled, “Now looky at that, plenty of f-fish in the s-sea, well dicks on the wall.” He giggled, “I bet none of em gives me sass either.”

Hanzo narrowed his eyes and stumbled into an aisle out of view, returning with a box with the picture of a blow-up cowboy; Its mouth was in an 'o' and it was rather well endowed. “And look, a tacky cowboy, but this one is less embarrassing to bring home to dinner.” Hanzo was giggling uncontrollably, then he noticed Jesse wasn't smiling.

“Huh,” Jesse said, “That explains a lot.” He tipped his hat back down over his eyes, pulled a cigarette from his shirt pocket and started towards the door.

“Jesse! Wait.” Hanzo belted out, he found a display butt plug on a shelf beside him and whipped it at Jesse's back. Jesse stopped, turned around and looked down at what had hit him. He looked back up at Hanzo with a frown, then picked up the toy and threw it back. Now they were both smiling.

They whipped the butt plug back and forth a few times, knocking merchandise on the floor and hollering loudly. Then they started making crude gestures with the toy, waggling their eyebrows and snickering.

Suddenly the saleswoman came tearing through the store yelling, “Get the fuck outta here you lunatics, 'fore I call the cops!” Jesse and Hanzo looked at each other, then they burst out laughing before they sprinted clumsily out the front door.

“Partners in crime!” Shrieked Jesse.

“Partners in crime!” Hanzo repeated like a war cry.


End file.
